My Absence... Explained.
Mar 24, 2018 2:40:49 GMT -6
Post by Leon on Mar 24, 2018 2:40:49 GMT -6
Helllo everyone.
I apologize for vanishing (again) without a note of explanation.
These last four months have been rather difficult in more than just one way. So, I am going to be letting you all know what is going on with my situation. I will firstly apologize if the information that I am about to write comes off as me complaining and sounds whiny. That's not my intention and I hope that if I bothered you with this, that you know that I am not intentionally trying to upset anyone. That being said, lets get this thing done...
So, to begin. I had been working for a company named Teavana for the last two and a half years, after my exit from Gamestop. After Gamestop, and the trouble that it had caused me not only scholastically but emotionally and physically, I thought that a job at this "Teavana" place was going to be a good transition into getting into my degree program, and move on to bigger and better things. So I started just after the new year, it being 2015 and all. The place was small, kinda cramped, and was vastly different that what I had been experiencing in retail before. But, the good news was that the people I worked with were agreeable and kind, and welcomed me into the fold.
Fast forward two years. I'm still at Teavana, enjoying the time I've spent there and glad to just keep going on with the norm. Then, just two months before Christmas, we are told that the entire company is to be closed by March the next year. Cut to immediate dread, anger, and confusion. That went on til about a week before Christmas. We finally got the general sense of when we're closing. So, with finally some kind of idea of closure, things began to fall into a more normal rhythm. We knew the end was coming, so we started to lean back, take it easy. We expected to be done just into January, close up shop, and be on our way. Well... Come February and we're still not closed. Once again, confusion and anger began to crop up. We just wanted to be done. Thankfully, we got a final date of February 17th... on Feb 9th. A little over a week! So, that got people to panic... Good times. Eventually the day came and we closed the doors for the last time. Truthfully I wasn't entirely sad to see the place close, but I sure wasn't kicking up my heels at it either.
That bit is the least of the reasons as to why I was away. Granted, I was rather frantic in my work schedule trying to acquiesce to the news of closing and the customers flooding in to gawk at our items, the prices of things, and listen to their non-stop complaints of how things should be cheaper if we're going out of business, their condolences for the store closing, and their mock anger at the fact that the company decided to do what it did. That's all besides the point...
The main reason I have been gone for the longest time is that around Thanksgiving, my brother found out that he had cancer. I'm sitting here looking at this... and just waves of anger and sadness roll over me. I will say this, so please hold off any condolences and the like. My brother has more or less already beaten it. The type of cancer has an EXTREMELY high survival rate, and its 99.6% not going to complicate his life any further than it has. He already had surgery to have the cancerous material removed, and the doctors said that that there doesn't seem to be anything more to it. A "Localized clump and that's it." When I heard this news I was over the moon. I was so happy that my little brother was going to be OK.
But that wasn't until about a month and a half ago. For the two months before hand, I fell into such a pit. I felt like I had failed him. I felt like I couldn't protect him from the world. Now I know that it's impossible for me to have done so. To even think that my good intentions and wishing against it would foil how life progresses is utterly foolish. But that doesn't change how I felt... I felt like I had let him down. I wished that it had happened to me instead of him. I wanted to take the cancer from him and carry it for myself, for him not to be exposed to this. I didn't want him to have to deal with this. And that's what drove me deeper into my own depression. The thoughts that I couldn't protect him, the feelings of helplessness, the guilt I felt that came from nowhere.
I'm writing this as a sign of being in a better place now. I've had months to rebuild myself after the success of the surgery, of him recovering and seeing him able to do all the things that he could do before. I also felt that I owed it to all of you, not out of need to keep you all constantly up-to-date with my own goings on, but out of a love for this place and for all of you. I've mentioned it before, but all of you are a part of my family, my friends and co-writers. People whom I can chat and write with, and truly enjoy the exchanges.
So, there are two things I am going to say more.
First. Thank you all for putting up with my absence. Thank you for your previous support, and thank you for taking in this self-loathing wolf and helping him to become a better woof.
Secondly... Y'all had best prepare for me to be back here. The entire time I've been gone my muse had vanished with it, but now I want to RP, and I'm coming up with some new ideas and the like.
I hope that this finds each and everyone of you well and in good spirits. I hope you all know that you all mean a lot to me, and I don't say that often.
Thanks again, everyone.
Leon
I apologize for vanishing (again) without a note of explanation.
These last four months have been rather difficult in more than just one way. So, I am going to be letting you all know what is going on with my situation. I will firstly apologize if the information that I am about to write comes off as me complaining and sounds whiny. That's not my intention and I hope that if I bothered you with this, that you know that I am not intentionally trying to upset anyone. That being said, lets get this thing done...
So, to begin. I had been working for a company named Teavana for the last two and a half years, after my exit from Gamestop. After Gamestop, and the trouble that it had caused me not only scholastically but emotionally and physically, I thought that a job at this "Teavana" place was going to be a good transition into getting into my degree program, and move on to bigger and better things. So I started just after the new year, it being 2015 and all. The place was small, kinda cramped, and was vastly different that what I had been experiencing in retail before. But, the good news was that the people I worked with were agreeable and kind, and welcomed me into the fold.
Fast forward two years. I'm still at Teavana, enjoying the time I've spent there and glad to just keep going on with the norm. Then, just two months before Christmas, we are told that the entire company is to be closed by March the next year. Cut to immediate dread, anger, and confusion. That went on til about a week before Christmas. We finally got the general sense of when we're closing. So, with finally some kind of idea of closure, things began to fall into a more normal rhythm. We knew the end was coming, so we started to lean back, take it easy. We expected to be done just into January, close up shop, and be on our way. Well... Come February and we're still not closed. Once again, confusion and anger began to crop up. We just wanted to be done. Thankfully, we got a final date of February 17th... on Feb 9th. A little over a week! So, that got people to panic... Good times. Eventually the day came and we closed the doors for the last time. Truthfully I wasn't entirely sad to see the place close, but I sure wasn't kicking up my heels at it either.
That bit is the least of the reasons as to why I was away. Granted, I was rather frantic in my work schedule trying to acquiesce to the news of closing and the customers flooding in to gawk at our items, the prices of things, and listen to their non-stop complaints of how things should be cheaper if we're going out of business, their condolences for the store closing, and their mock anger at the fact that the company decided to do what it did. That's all besides the point...
The main reason I have been gone for the longest time is that around Thanksgiving, my brother found out that he had cancer. I'm sitting here looking at this... and just waves of anger and sadness roll over me. I will say this, so please hold off any condolences and the like. My brother has more or less already beaten it. The type of cancer has an EXTREMELY high survival rate, and its 99.6% not going to complicate his life any further than it has. He already had surgery to have the cancerous material removed, and the doctors said that that there doesn't seem to be anything more to it. A "Localized clump and that's it." When I heard this news I was over the moon. I was so happy that my little brother was going to be OK.
But that wasn't until about a month and a half ago. For the two months before hand, I fell into such a pit. I felt like I had failed him. I felt like I couldn't protect him from the world. Now I know that it's impossible for me to have done so. To even think that my good intentions and wishing against it would foil how life progresses is utterly foolish. But that doesn't change how I felt... I felt like I had let him down. I wished that it had happened to me instead of him. I wanted to take the cancer from him and carry it for myself, for him not to be exposed to this. I didn't want him to have to deal with this. And that's what drove me deeper into my own depression. The thoughts that I couldn't protect him, the feelings of helplessness, the guilt I felt that came from nowhere.
I'm writing this as a sign of being in a better place now. I've had months to rebuild myself after the success of the surgery, of him recovering and seeing him able to do all the things that he could do before. I also felt that I owed it to all of you, not out of need to keep you all constantly up-to-date with my own goings on, but out of a love for this place and for all of you. I've mentioned it before, but all of you are a part of my family, my friends and co-writers. People whom I can chat and write with, and truly enjoy the exchanges.
So, there are two things I am going to say more.
First. Thank you all for putting up with my absence. Thank you for your previous support, and thank you for taking in this self-loathing wolf and helping him to become a better woof.
Secondly... Y'all had best prepare for me to be back here. The entire time I've been gone my muse had vanished with it, but now I want to RP, and I'm coming up with some new ideas and the like.
I hope that this finds each and everyone of you well and in good spirits. I hope you all know that you all mean a lot to me, and I don't say that often.
Thanks again, everyone.
Leon